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Navigating Complicated Relationships: Dealing with Selfishness and Miscommunication

Navigating Complicated Relationships: Dealing with Selfishness and Miscommunication
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Dear Affair Of Heart,

I wanted to share an interesting experience without causing any trouble. It was a bit strange, but I have resolved the situation.

I am a 36-year-old divorced single woman. I have a sexual relationship with a 24-year-old man, whom I will refer to as A. Our relationship is not serious; it is purely for physical satisfaction. One day, A's friend, whom I will call B, saw me and found me attractive. B asked A to set up a date with me. Intrigued by his looks, I wanted to sleep with him.

When I met B, he had no idea that we had actually met before. I informed him about my relationship with A. He asked if I had feelings for A, to which I replied that I was only interested in satisfying my physical needs and that A didn't have feelings for me either. We went for milk tea, watched movies, and had deep conversations. Eventually, he invited me to his place. I knew what I wanted, so I didn't refuse and went with him.

Perhaps he was afraid of rejection. He mentioned seeing A with another girl a few days ago, but I told him I didn't care as it was A's freedom. He asked if I wanted to try being with A. I didn't respond directly; instead, I hugged him tightly, and we engaged in sexual activity.

Afterward, B expressed his fear of losing his friendship with A. I thought he was overthinking it since A and I weren't in a committed relationship. I had the right to have sexual relationships with whomever I chose. B admitted feeling scared and unsure about how to face A in the future since they were still classmates and saw each other daily as college students.

Once I returned home, B messaged me, asking for my opinion about his performance. I reassured him that everything was fine. He then mentioned that he wouldn't dare to practice Chinese (a language exchange) with me anymore and would find someone else. I didn't want to jeopardize his friendship, so I felt embarrassed. He expressed sadness and uncertainty about how to face A. I agreed to delete our conversation. Subsequently, I blocked him to avoid further entanglement or disturbance.

However, B found an excuse to bring up A again, which made me uncomfortable. There was no need for excuses to end our connection. The more fearful he was of A finding out, the more I felt compelled to share the truth and make him uncomfortable, knowing I was in the wrong.

Later, I informed A about the situation, but he became angry and declared that he would never see me again. He believed I shouldn't engage in sexual relationships with other men. I scolded him for his selfishness, emphasizing that we were not in an exclusive relationship, and I had the freedom to make my own choices. A still needs to confront B about the situation.

Less than ten minutes after our conversation, B added me back on WeChat and questioned my actions. He asked why I revealed everything to A. I was too tired to explain, so I simply blocked him. I blocked both A and B.

A is a selfish man who doesn't love me but wants to possess me exclusively. B is also selfish, using various excuses to shift the responsibility onto me. I can leave at any time without making excuses. I won't bother them; I will follow my own path and leave them with nowhere to go. It was all just for fun, so why take it seriously?

Take care.

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